Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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