I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
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