I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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