Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
