I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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