yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Randomize
