Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Randomize
