i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
