last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
