Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
