Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
