were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
