shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
love makes seman taste better
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
The air was thick with penises
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize