It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I wish there were birth control emojis
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
