he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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