I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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