I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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