oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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