So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
