I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
