Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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