I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
