dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
