i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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