I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
