why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
