FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize