I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
