He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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