I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
there is puke in my bra ... again
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
