yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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