One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
