I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
