Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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