and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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