This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
