she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
