So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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