That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
