People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I haven't been this sober since birth.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize