She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Randomize
