dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
