i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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