Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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