I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
as a side note pls kill me
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
