We need to rekindle our bromance
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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