Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
