when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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