We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
i think i just lost a toe
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
