Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
