She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
