My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
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