And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
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