So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
false alarm, still single
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
