you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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