If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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