Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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