your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
